in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
