Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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