He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
