Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm just crazy horny about you
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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