its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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