Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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