I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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