Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
