shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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