Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
