Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
