i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The best revenge is premature balding
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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