So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
