Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
