Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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