Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i just google imaged poop.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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