you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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