btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
