So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Everclear isn't food dammit
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
