Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
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