so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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