I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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