i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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