it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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