Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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