Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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