whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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