Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
