im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize