I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
