I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
