me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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