WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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