Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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