woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
