I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
