Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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