So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize