last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
