i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
