There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
