Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
