1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
