i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
