I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
