I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
the gays at disneyland are vicious
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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