why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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