Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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