do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
