I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
