Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I currently don't understand fingers.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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