It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
