I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize