Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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