So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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