Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
