Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm just crazy horny about you
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
