Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Terrible idea I love it
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize