worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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