My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
