OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
