I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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