going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
