Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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